Australia East Coast Queensland travel, EPIC road trip
Sat 14 Dec 2013
Join me for the best fucking parts of Queensland, my home state. We have the Great Barrier Reef, the world's largest sand island, Fraser Island. The Whitsundays and the world's best beach, Whitehaven and shit loads more fun and adventure. That's why Queensland is the best place in world to have a holiday, no question. Check this out if you have limited time to see the best holiday the world has to offer.
Daintree National Park / Cape Tribulation
Forget Cairns if you have no time and forget about going to the reef there. People are always going diving, snorkelling and going to Green Island. Big deal. This is just one over crowded option for going to the reef.... and check out the islands, they are flat and featureless bird shit piled up on coral rubble.
Now we have cleared that up, find a way to get up to the Daintree and Cape Tribulation. There are heaps of tours, but if you are lucky like me you know someone that has lived in the Daintree for 37 years you will find yourself in a aging Tarago with some friends and going for the real authentic tour of the rainforest. Its amazing, no question. Even on the an average day you might be sneaking into a secret clear water swimming hole. Laying on your back in blue tinged clear waters and looking up through the rainforest and palm tree canopy of trees. Further North you guide might be having a sneaky smoke before you head along a rainforest walk showcasing palms, tropical environment, the odd animals spotting to emerge onto the stretching beach heading south. Hopefully, your guide has stories of living on the beach for a year back in the 70's, the parties, the locals - full authentic hippie lifestyle.
Along the way, you might find a coiled snake on the road, plenty of eateries and the exotic ice cream farm as the perfect stopover on the return leg.
Kuranda Baroon Falls
Climbing out of Cairns before someone nicks your car, you make your way past some police trapping speeders to Kuranda and slip around to Barron Falls. Its picture perfect and the tourist walk to viewing points is a treat in itself. The scenic train ride from Cairns stops there. If you have the time you would have take the train ride, and/or the Rainforest Gondala tour across the tree tops.
Kuranda is a very nice little town that is loaded with coffee shops, stuff Koalas made in China and a smattering of authentic leather goods for real shoppers.
Undara Lava Tubes
In a case of "whoopsie, this might not have been a great idea", you find yourself driving forever to Undara. Its the real deal for outback experience and the umm, resort?, at Undara is really something special. The well thought out facilities host hundreds in Winter, but you arrive in the Green season, the numbers are far less and you get to choose your camp spot to the point of taking over an entire camp kitchen, perfect for when the real outback thunder storm to roll in and wash the wallabies. The architecture is real interesting too. The centre of the resort has a giant 1/2 cone shaped dome that opens to the viewing the wilderness and the facilities under it are old train carriages converted for bars, dining, accommodation and other facilities. There are plenty of walks, hilltops and log book to write your plans in case you intend to get lost and never return. The tubes themselves are a very interested piece of geological history and the impassioned guide will go to lengths to inform you among a series of ex-wife jokes (too soon?). If you are lucky, the kicker might be a personal baby wallaby experience by the pool after you return and set off on the 8 hour drive back to the coast and the next stop. Did I mention that it is a fucking long way from anything... because it is a fucking long way from anything.
Wallaman Falls
Located about 1.5 hours North of Townsville to Ingham and then West to Wallaman Falls. You might arrive in darkness and rain to the camp area at Wallaman Falls... particularly if you came from Undara which is a fucking long way away (did I mention).
Wallaman is the tallest permanent falls in Australia and well worth the drive. Morning at the camp site shows good facilities for a cold shower and there is a great walking track along the stream to swimming holes and little rapids. You are told you might spot a Platypus or a swimming lizard, but don't count on it. Plan for a swim and a photo at the little rapids at the top of the walk.
Get your shit together and head off for the falls walk which is a fair hike for the reasonable agile. Photo opps abound, but be sure to take enough water, otherwise you are going to come home parched. Skinny dipping at the bottom of the falls is an obligation otherwise the spirits that live here will curse you with 7 years of no sex, and a dying sense of freedom.
Magnetic Island
If your holiday is constrained to Queensland then this is the best chance to get close to Koalas and fold in an island tour - its worth the short ferry ride. There is a range of accommodation and most people end staying at one of the accommodation choices at Horseshoe Bay. Don't take a Koala - its not allowed.
Airlie Beach and Whitsunday Islands
Ah, paradise on earth. Airlie Beach has had a recent make over that has switched up the vibe of the town to a new high. The best way to get the experience is to enjoy one of the casual restaurants or bars early in the evening and then get a good seat outside one of night clubs. From your curbside vantage you can watch the birthday girls, fancy dress hens parties wander by... and for the patient an evicted bar patron dragged off by the cops.
Never mind the bustle, its not what you are here for. Islands, reef and Whitehaven Beach await and what about it:
Reef - The Whitsunday islands is the heart of the Great Barrier Reef and even features "Heart Reef" (best flown over), outer reef, reef around islands. Green Zone absolute protection, clown fish, giant codes, Mantarays and a complete diversity of everything reef you could possibly want to see
Islands - The Whitsunday Islands is a collection of 74 or more continental islands. full of feature with high peaks, cliff faces and magnificent vistas. Only 6 have habitation and the rest are national park - you can't beat that anywhere in the world. Everything is protected right down to heavy regulation of the commercial boats that will take you out there (and its a good thing
Whitehaven Beach - Put down the camera folks , you have already taken a 100 pictures of the world's most magnificent beach. 99.9% pure silica sands burns the retinas with reflected sun on cloudy days. Best taken in from the now famous Hill Inlet lookout where people gaze upon what they consider the most amazing vista they have ever seen.
If these three things don't blow your tourist mind, you can have your money back.
Rockhampton
Drive through, don't talk to anyone, don't touch anything. As for Yeppoon, don't start me.
Harvey Bay and Fraser Island
If have the cred, camp gear and the experienced 4wd (former rally) driver you should get your own 4wd and skip over to the Fraser from Hervey, or perhaps better still Noosa. The world's largest sand island has also become the location of the world's largest concentration of Dingo warning signs. Yes, they are annoying and yes, a child was mauled, but the warnings never stop. The crescendo comes when one of your German co-tourers wails in the middle of the night that "A DINGO IS TRYING TO GET INTO THE TENT!" Fully nightmared and spooked by the excessive warnings, she has fully hallucinated a scavenging dog unzipping her tent with its paws.
Eli Creek, Lake Wabbi, Lake Mackenzie, the Maheno wreck, Indian Head, Champagne Pools - they are all there and fabulous read about them elsewhere.
If you get the chance you should get down Rainbow Beach to Noosa. the beach drive is actually quite quick and quite the adventure.
Noosa Heads
Sliding out of the 4WD into the sublime posh Hasting Street Noosa is the ideal way to get the sand from between the toes and the smoky smells from the clothes. As a bookend for the Sunshine Coast, the North shore of the River starts Rainbow Beach and national parks, so the rich are bump stopped and held up in four and five star accommodation. Never mind them sipping Latte's and enjoying $25 Eggs Benedict overlooking the beach, there are a number of accommodation of choices for the family, the budget traveller, down to the international van road tripper snuck away in the park car park just one street back from the beach.
Surfing, national park walks, Boost juices, paddling are at the top of the Noosa tick list.
Brisbane
The river city of Brisbane awaits the end of your journey. The capital of Queensland, the rapidly growing city has become a part of an South East corner "urbania" that extends from the Gold Coast to Noosa we just left behind. At the core is a bustling city precinct that extends the length of an shopping mall where business, tourist and bogun can be seen on any average day (or night). At the top end of the mall is the Treasury Casino for a cocktail and to see how the other half gamble. Over yonder is the Southbank parklands. Comfy grassed areas contain various eateries, ferris wheel, a free lagoon style pool all of which peers back at the city. "City cat" ferries transport along the river for an full city wrap tour, while the cheapo's board the "City Hopper" service a free lap of the inner city river reach.
Mount Cootha, the bayside and Manly rate a mention while the party crowd head off to the Valley for a late party in any one of a huge number of night spots, clubs and bar.
What a shit hot tour, what a fucking holiday. Queensland coast awaits your visit.
