Being a good guest with Couch Surfing.
Wed 25 Feb 2009
During January to March 2009 I hit the road with a round the world ticket in hand. My adventures are variously documented on www.nayler.com, but this blog entry is a review of the important lessons learned about being a guest.
Despite a not-so-normal upbringing in a western suburb of Brisbane, I had the good fortune to be born to a mother who taught my sister and I that the honesty and care for others were some of the most important values you can have.
While at times this has not served my bank balance or place in a queue, the REAL rewards have been endless.
These lessons have also served me very well when travelling as a Couch Surfing guest, with the continuing reward the glowing references that I received from my hosts. Here are a few tips.
Arrive with a gift.
I am not talking about diamond rings or expensive alcohol, but something simple and thoughtful. In Rome it was a silly colourful hat given to me upon departure from my last stop, In Vancouver, it was some cookies left over from a lucky first class upgrade on my flight from Montreal. In both cases, the host was surprised and happy that I had been so thoughtful.
Help out always.
Remembering that your host may be saving you between $30 and $200 per night in accommodation costs is reason in itself to do what ever you can to make their life easier. My favourite is insisting that I love doing the dishes (which is true). I have even been known to pull dirties from dishwasher so that I can do them in the sink. Even better, if I have the opportunity to do the dishes while my hosts are out, so they return to a cleaner kitchen that the one they left. Be thoughtful, creative and surprising for the best effect, spending a dollar if warranted.
Respect the generosity of your host.
The nature of a Couch Surfing host normally includes being a generous person. Its there way. Be sure to not take advantage of this generosity as it may leave them with a negative feeling of you or hosting. A recent example occurred on the boat. I have a large Internet and phone plan, meaning that I can be generous in offering these resources to guests. I ended up watching on as a friend was punching through a lengthy FaceBook chat with global contacts, while another guest was talking at length to a distant friend on my phone. This left me a little miffed to the point of having to say something.
Your host should never feel like an alien.
The two most common ways that I have ended up feeling that I should have green skin and antennae is emotional bouts by guests and excess foreign language. Even while overseas and lucky to be in the company of people with good to excellent English, I worked hard to use what ever of their language I knew or grasp more. It was always fun to make mistakes to the delight of my hosts. Meanwhile as a host I have had the misfortune to had guests that spoke excessively in their mother tongue, despite having very good English. Just like feeling the waiters are talking about you in that Parisienne restaurant, a host enduring unintelligible speech leaves wonder about the topic of discussion. Its uncomfortable in the restaurant and down right painful in your own home.
The other thing is being continuously cheerful and friendly. As we know, being cheerful and friendly is not always possible, but where possible keep the sadness for your private space unless the host is specifically keen to shoulder your problems (many hosts are good listeners, myself included).
Participate.
It may not always be something that you are up for, but when a host makes an effort to show you a good time or include you in activities, you should try and go with the flow. While overseas, I found myself eating in a soup kitchen, walking about town at midnight to tour bars while freezing and partying with a circle of people that I would not normally. They are making an effort, so you should too!
Be grateful.
"Thank you" costs nothing. Use them liberally.
Engage.
Finally, and summarily, engagement is the key to being a good guest and a good host. For me, CS is about cultural exchange and friendship. This means talking, understanding and laughing. Its makes the experience all the more enjoyable.
Overall, 95% of my CS experiences have been outstanding this little review is aimed at making that number closer to 100% for myself and others.
